The Right Questions to Ask Your Doctor


The very short period of time we see a health care provider can seem overwhelming, especially since we live with chronic illness every day. To make the most of each office visit it is important to be prepared and know exactly what you would like to get out of each visit. Most office visit last from a half an hour to an hour, so figuring out exactly the right questions to ask your health care provider prior to the appointment can help tremendously. Below are examples of questions to ask that will help to get the right conversation going between you and your health care provider.

On the Nuanced Living Shop, there is a packet to help you when coming up with questions for your office visit! (It also comes in large font!)


How can you prepare to ask the right questions from your health care provider?

– Each visit is about informing the health care provider about the issues you are having and giving an update on your health. This usual rhythm is; telling the health care provider what is going on, asking questions, then creating the next steps with your health care provider.

– Inform the health care provider about your symptoms, along with what you have tried that works and doesn’t work.

– When going in to see a care provider, there might be a layer of people you could potentially see before you see the main health care provider. The questions that you have should be asked directly to the person you intended to see.

– Ask your caregiver if there are any questions you may not have thought about, along with coming up with a plan with them about who will ask the questions in the actual appointment.

– How many questions should you ask per visit? I’m a strong believer in asking all your questions. Write down the pieces you want to talk about in an order from the most important to least important. This way you will get to what you need the most. Within those topics, you will ask several questions. Don’t worry about having a limit, rather focus on getting the information you are paying for and that you need. Your health care journey is so important and your time can be limited with a health care provider, so figure out what is the most important to you and make sure you get all your questions answered.

– Make sure to write down all your questions you have, so when you get in the office you don’t forget anything you want to talk about. To make this task easier, look at the Question Packet on the Nuanced Living Shop. (Also in large font!)



What Questions to ask.


General questions:

– These are the symptoms I am having. Do you have any recommendations?

– Can you explain that test/medicine/medical term?

– Can you explain what about my anatomy is different or what my diagnosis is affecting?


Diagnosis Questions:

– What will the next few steps look like?

– How long do you think it will take to diagnose the problem?

– What does the path of _____ really look like if I am diagnosed with ______?


Treatment Questions:

– What are all the treatment options?

– What do you recommend the most out of all treatment options?

– Is there any side effects with the treatment(s) that I should be aware of?

– Will the treatments affect any other treatments I am currently doing or any other diagnosis I have?

– Is there anything I should change about my routine? Exercise or don’t exercise? Don’t eat a certain type of food? Not take a certain supplement?

– How long should I take the medicine to find out if it works or doesn’t work? Does the medicine require a process to come off of?

– Based on my insurance what are the treatments/surgeries that I can actually do? (Note: not all insurances will pay for different types of treatments or procedures. You can always ask the billing office for a rough estimate of how much it will cost if insurance won’t pay for it.)

– I don’t feel comfortable with that kind of treatment, are there other ways to treat it?

– How long do I have to make a decision about moving forward?


Test/Surgery/Procedure Questions:

– How many times have you done this procedure?

– When will I get the results?

– How will I get the results?

– What is the test/procedure/surgery for? What will we find from it?

– How is the test/procedure/surgery different here than other health care systems?


Communication Questions:

– When will we be in contact again?

– When should my next appointment be scheduled for?

– What is the best way to contact the health care provider if I have questions before my next appointment?

– Can I have a summary of the visit? If you want the health care provider to write down specific diagnosis or test, ask them to write it down in the office visit summary.

– Do you recommend any specific sources for finding extended information on my diagnosis?



To help create questions there is a Question Packet on the Nuanced Living Shop! (Also in large font!)



T r u l y ,   L i n d y

How to be the best caregiver for your life and the patient!

If you are a caregiver you carry a new unique weight within your life. You have the emotion of someone you care for hurting, you want to do everything you can to help heal them, you carry part of a key component that drives another’s life, and on top of that you have to maintain your personal life within the new responsibility. A patient’s life with chronic illness is a weakened life within a world that is built for “healthy” people, and as a patient, we need help on many different levels. As a caregiver, you learn to adjust and figure out how to be the best caregiver to the person you have chosen to help, along with still maintaining your personal health and life to the best of your abilities. Overall time allotted to the patient can look very different for each caregiver; either you take on the role as a full-time caregiver by having the patient live with you, you may be that who makes sure the patient gets to their appointments, or you are somewhere in between those two extremes. No matter how much your role exist in another’s life, it is important to understand what your role can be and how you can be the best partner within someone else’s healthcare journey.

Know that your time, love and sacrifices never go amiss. We as patients may not always express our gratitude, but our perspective of life has shifted and sometimes it can be difficult to be outside of the symptoms that now are apart of our lives. We try to be the best advocate of how we feel and what is happening within ourselves, so even when we may not seem like it trust us that you are important beyond knowing. Even though you are in a position where you see our best selves and our worst selves, it doesn’t mean that we love you less or hate you, it means that this is a really hard journey for us, as patients, be forced to push our bodies in new ways.

Part of the role as a caregiver is to make sure you can be the best match as a caregiver for the patient. Check out “How to Find the Best Caregiver” article, to see what some expectations may be of this type of relationship. Your ultimate role is to be the best partner within the health care journey of someone else.


Note: “How to Find the Best Caregiver” article describes what a caregiver is.

Life changes to expect as a caregiver:

Caregivers tend to be, but not limited to, the ones closest to the patient and they may not know that they have taken the role of a caregiver, until ten steps within the process. No matter where in the process you are there is the opportunity to recognize if you can be a proper caregiver to the person needing it, or not. Below is a list of changes that one could expect the sudden effects of chronic illness.

Caregivers Life Changes:

– Vacation time may now be spent on going to appointments or helping the patient out.

– Flexibility is key. Depending on what is going on with the patient, they may need you at different times for different things.

– The patient may need to live with their caregiver or have the caregiver live with them, for either a brief or extended amount of time, depending on the status of their health and financials.

– Unfortunately, finances become an issue with someone with chronic illness, where they will have to rely on their caregiver or someone close to them a lot. They may need help with food, bills, rent, etc. To best understand what is going on and how to be the best help within the caregivers’ personal limits come up with a plan with what they need, what you are willing to offer and create a plan. If they have to become financially dependent on the caregiver then remember that this is extremely embarrassing, difficult, and something they can’t control.

Patients Life Changes:

– Relationship roles and types will change or shift.

– The patient may not be able to work anymore.

– A drastic change is going on within the patient’s bodies that they can’t control and are trying to best understand their new personal physical limits.

– Feeling that their life is changing in a huge way and the idea of having less and less control is more prevalent than ever.

– The patient bodies are now viewed very different with themselves, along with everyone else.

– Also, check out “What does the journey with chronic illness really look like?” article for a little bit more of a perspective on how their life might be changing.


What are the roles as a caregiver?

As a caregiver, there are certain roles that are potentially part of what will be needed. Check in with your person to understand what they may need from you and what may be a potential. Having a routine of checking in with them will help the communication and allow for a better partnership so you both know what is the need and what you can personally offer.

Scheduler: Appointment are key to figuring out what is going on and how to take care of the patient. If you are not the scheduler make sure that the patient knows when you are able to go to the appointments if they need you to.

Transportation: Depending on the chronic illness, the patient may not be able to drive, or only drive during certain situations. Some situations where they may need you include; driving after procedures, surgeries, or even just rough appointments. Figure out if you, as a caregiver, are taking their car or yours, along with what is the most comfortable for them.

Motivator: As a patient, there are certain times when we just need a little boast to say we can do it. We want to know its ok if we can go through an appointment, we can try a new treatment, we can cry if we want to. Set boundaries on when you are able to be that motivator, that encourager. If you can’t be that then let them know and help them find someone else who is better suited for it.

Chef: Depending on the chronic illness, you as a caregiver may have to take over meal prep or some meal prep. Talk to the patient to find out their dietary restrictions, if they require their meals to be taken at certain times, or more frequently. Make sure that you know what is needed if you play this role because food can be crucial for their health.

Private Helper: Sometimes an extra set of hands in the most intimate areas is important but hard. Someone who will be in a way a home “nurse” taking care of things that can be so embarrassing and so much more detailed then the patient likes to admit. Our bodies are trained to be private and give away when we desire, but give away in a more beautifully detailed way. Chronic illness can force us to expose our body that is not natural and in ways that we had hoped no one ever sees us.

Second Hand: The patient may need a second hand with different pieces that either they can’t do physically or mentally on their own. This is different than above because it may not be as intimate, but it still changes our personal limits. This may include help with treatments, help with physical therapy, etc.

Researcher: It is great to understand what is going on with the patient. It is important to understand potential symptoms, treatments, conversations, etc. If you find something that is interesting have the conversation with the patient about it, but ultimately let them have the choice about what they do with their body.

Secret Keeper: This is not your journey. It is not your journey to tell everyone. You are apart of someone else’s journey and it affects your life, but the details of someone’s life are their own. Talk to the patient to see what they are willing to have exposed because you don’t want to lose their trust.

Traveler: Depending on what is required and what is available, traveling may be required to get the treatment that is needed.


What are questions that you should ask?

No matter what stage you are in within the patients’ health care, you can always ask questions.

Questions to ask the patient as a caregiver:

Check out the article “How to Find the Best Caregiver” for questions that the patient should feel like they can talk to you about. Be open and honest with the patient and ask anything you feel that you need to, but know that it is ok for them not to tell you.

– What do you need from me?

– What do I need to know about your medical history?

– How can we create the best roles for each other moving forward?

– How often should we check in with each other to make sure our routine is working?

– This is what I can provide for you, is that ok?

Questions to ask a health care provider:

Let the patient be the director, as much as possible, when having a conversation with their healthcare providers. Ask the patient prior to appointments if it is ok to interject if you have questions. It is great to be a second set of ears, but time with a health care provider is so limited and it is important to make sure that the patient gets all the questions they need to be answered, because it is about them and their life. A way to make sure that both of your questions get to acknowledge and you both feel good with an end goal; set an hour aside before your appointment to go over all the questions you and the patient have and write them down on a piece of paper to come up with a plan.

Below are general questions. Specific questions will be tailored to the patient condition and examples are not listed.

General questions:

– What is going on?

– What are the timelines?

– What are test and procedures that you recommend?

– What do you feel would be the best option of treatment?

– What are potential side effects of ____ treatment?

When your patient seems to feel overwhelmed this is when you would ask the questions for them, by reading the situation and seeing where they are. Another great reason to set time aside to go over everything.

Also, note health care providers will know who has control over the conversation and the health of a patient. They will always ask the patient what they want for their own safety and comfort. Make sure that you don’t control the conversation and allow it to be the patients’ conversation.

What if you don’t feel comfortable medical terms?

If neither you nor the patients have any history within the medical field, it can be difficult and overwhelming to sometimes understand what health care providers are saying. Health care providers should be more than happy to offer explanations for any terms that you may not understand. There are so many words that can be thrown out concerning anatomy, medication, treatment, procedures, types of illness, etc. Sometimes these are theories and will have nothing to do in the end with the patient and other times they have a lot to do with what the patient needs. One option for a patient is knowing that the time is limited with health care providers, meaning each term the patient may not understand you could either have the health care provider explain it or ask them to write it down so the patient can fully consider all their options. There is always the option of contacting the office if you still aren’t fully sure what they meant, once you have left. You never have to make a full decision while in the office in front of a health care provider, make sure you know what is happening with the patient’s body is important to making the right decisions for them.

You do not under any circumstances have had to have medical field experience in order to be a caregiver.



Remember that even though you are taking the time to care for someone else and play that role within someone else’s life, it is so important to take the time to take care of you and your life as well! Keep the communication open as much as possible!


What have you found to be the most important role as a caregiver, within your journey with chronic illness?


T r u l y ,   L i n d y

How to Find the Best Caregiver


When our life is turned over by health issues, we grasp for someone close to help us with the unwanted and most likely unknown journey that we are about to embark on. We often turn to our spouse, parents, children, or even siblings to be our caregiver. We don’t know what our journey is about to look like and we have less understanding of what our caregiver’s path will look like alongside us, but we tend to seek of someone who we connect with the most.

It can be a great solution to turn to a family member, but it doesn’t always have to be the only solution. You may have a close friend or a neighbor that can be that constant partner within your new health journey. To ask someone to take on the responsibilities of a caregiver should never be taken lightly. Sometimes we get so focused on the whirlwind of what has happened to us that a caregiver just comes out of that storm – someone who just keeps showing up, this may or may not be the right person by your side. So how can we really find the best caregiver for your journey, to make sure that your journey is the best for you? Below are some aspects that make up a great caregiver.

Know that it is so important to find one person who can be your person through this journey. If you don’t feel comfortable or feel that you have that one person in your life, there are other alternatives to keep you standing and moving forward to the best of your abilities. Some tools or resources include; transportation, counseling or support groups, financial advisors, and much more. No matter your choice in how you pursue a healthcare partner within this process, make sure that you are able to find the right fit for you.


What is a caregiver?

The formal definition of a caregiver;

Caregiver – Someone who can regularly provide support, care, guidance, and assistance to someone who is in need.

Caregivers can be pulled from all different aspects of your life, but typically you have one or at most a handful of people you can rely on a hundred percent to be a part of the intimate details of the journey you are walking along with chronic illness. A caregiver is someone who is willing to provide what you need them to within this journey. Some roles that they may do include: going to appointments with you, providing transportation to places for you, being an extra set of ears, depending on your situation providing shelter and food, offering support for your decisions, and a continuous amount of work they play into each step that I couldn’t write down. Depending on how much they can give, along with what you may need from them, will create a different definition of what a caregiver is to you within your life. Depending on the journey you come upon you may need them to play different roles, during different parts.


What are some characteristics of a great caregiver?

When seeking out who should be your caregiver or health partner within the journey of chronic illness there are certain aspects that should be considered. Note you may not agree with all these, or have additional ones to add, so please let me know your thoughts in the comment section of this article! Below is a list of some things to think about when finding that right person for you!

Great caregiver qualities:

Someone who has the ability to recognize that it is your health journey. Meaning that their insight is greatly appreciated and considered, but ultimately they do not have control over your path and process.

Someone who is willing to take the time to do things right, rather than just getting it over. Along the journey there will be times when a wait is required, therefore having someone who is patient is important, because even if you can’t be they will be that for you

Someone who is willing to disrupt their regular routine to take care of you. Within the health care process, there will be certain moments that require your caregiver to be available to you. No matter who your caregiver is, chances are they have other aspects of their life they need to maintain and take care of, so figuring out someone who is willing to work with those other life demands will be helpful to make your process and their contribution to the process a lot smoother.

Someone who is financially able. Depending on your need of the caregiver not only could you need them for certain financial reasons, but also no matter the process will cost them on some level. They need to figure out if they can pay for the things you need, which may include; time off from work, expenses of transportation, housing, etc. You may be in a situation where you could also pay for their expenses to help you. This is potentially an ongoing discussion that you will have to have with them, about what they are willing to offer and what you can provide.

Someone who is doing it for the right reasons. I hate to say it, but not everyone has the best intentions if they are doing it to be an advocate for you make sure that you trust them completely with your life.

Someone who can be a great advocate for you. Depending on the role you decide your caregiver to play they may or may not be in the doctor visits with you. If you choose for them to be a voice within your health care it is important that they have your best interest, by listening to what the doctors say, able to understand their language and to be able to ask the right questions and make sure that they can be that partner to have a conversation with you rather than for you.

Someone you are comfortable to talk in front of about your most intimate details of life. This is the hardest part because sometimes going to the doctor you feel that you are placing all your faults or life details on the table. With a caregiver in the room, you will be sharing it in front of them, potentially more than once with some of the most unflattering details of our life. Never underestimate what you may share. To help prevent a complete discomfort with some topics within the room, maybe talk about it with your caregiver pre-visit so they don’t have to deal with the shock while they are supposed to be helping you by paying attention to the doctors. Some things, of course, don’t have to be discussed and it is purely based on you, which goes to our next point.

Someone you can set limits with. Decide if you want them to go in with you to appointments or just drive you. Have someone that you can change your mind with at any point and trust to do so. This is your experience and your path with health care and figuring out what your life looks like.

Someone who can step up to the plate. This is harder to ask than you would think because we don’t all know what this looks like. Your caregiver needs to be someone who can put their anger or upset or whatever aside when at your appointments and the short time you get with this process. No matter what happens they need to be able to come to the present fully and be a part of figuring out the best path for you.

Someone who is able to take rejection. You can always choose a caregiver and have a trial period with it. No matter what your relationship was with this person prior you should be able to change if you don’t feel that they are best suited for the position, no matter how long they have been your health care partner.

You ultimately need to find someone who is the best advocate for you, alongside you.


What can we do for our caregivers?

Caregivers are an amazing part of our lives, but you are one piece of their life, meaning they also need to take care of them and the world that is around them. Set up boundaries with your caregiver that not only are great for you but great for them making it a relationship that is good for both of you. Although we rely on them more than we like to admit, we each need to be taking steps to take care of our self, including our caregivers.



We don’t need a caregiver until we are ten steps within the journey already. The person who you decide to be your caregiver is key to how your journey will go. Take your time and continue to keep the line of conversation open between you and your caregiver(s). Always make sure to ask questions and be open with them about what you need, figuring out if you two are suited for your health care journey. You deserve the best care and your caregiver is a key part of your journey!


My question to you!

What is the most important character trait of a caregiver to you?


T r u l y ,   L i n d y


photo source: @LindyJacoby

What Does the Journey With Chronic Illness Actually Look Like?

While walking along a forest path your senses become on high alert, seeing an ever-changing environment around you, with the warmth of the sun in glimpses. You know you aren’t the first to experience the path simply by the obvious signs of wear and tear alone, but rarely do you encounter another soul.

If you have brought a companion along with you, there are times when the footsteps of one another get farther apart seeming as if they may disappear, while other times the footsteps get closer, maybe even too close. You may see one or two souls that you have never met before, that may pass you in some way with simple acknowledgments. More often than not you find yourself on the path alone, seeking your personal journey.

The path somehow becomes the boundaries of your journey, only allowing the tips of its vast landscape to be touched by you. The trees are there, the plants are there, there are birds singing somewhere, a whole world is there, but you feel that you have to stay on the beaten path either by the idea of being guided, personal comfort, or simply knowing this could be the only way to get where you need to go.

Every once in awhile you’ll stumble upon off trails, which look like fewer people ventured on. Certain off paths aren’t worth bothering with to you, while others you may just be too curious to not seek out its potential. Each off trail brings its own personal journey with either ending randomly, having a glimpse of something beautiful at the end, or is a place of rest till you are guided back to the original path.

We have all walked it, with only a few unreadable or confusing signs pointing to suggested locations, but where do we end up truly? Sometimes those journeys lead us where we wanted to go with interesting experiences along the way, sometimes it is a simple loop to end up where we started, or sometimes we have no idea where the journey ends up.

Within our personal health care paths, we experience similar concepts that we do within the forest path; our senses are on high alert seeking the beautiful world around us till we find our destination, while simply not knowing where the path will lead us and having the restrictions of our bodies to guide us through it. It is a path that obviously has had multiple people travel it, but very few people exist completely on the journey with you. Often the journey with chronic illness can be truly empty, overwhelming, many moments of thin hope, healing, defeat, with a multitude of paths that can be taken or not. When navigating the beaten path our journeys may be frustrating at times, but there is also a beauty in how we grow as individuals within ourselves amongst this journey. Knowing somewhat to expect helps us grow to our best abilities even when times seem too hard to deal with.


What are the general stages of a chronic illness journey within healthcare?

Each one of us, no matter if you are directly dealing with chronic illness or have a chronic illness, has a very different path from one another within the journey of health care, but there are general similar stages we process or go through, even if we process them differently. No matter where these stages originated from, it seems to be the rhythm people tend to go through within the health care system we currently have established. The stages give us a general sense of what we all can go through within our journey with chronic illness or really anything healthcare related. They are in the order that is typically presented and guided by a health care provider, as a general guideline rather than your personal “for sure” pathway.

Stage one: Do you have any concerns with your body?

This is the stage when you personally feel that something is going on with your body that feels wrong. You find yourself asking; How do I feel? Do I know what is going on? What are my limits? Should I seek medical advice? What medical advice should I seek? It is that stage where something has affected you and seems off that it pushes you out of your personal limits enough to then seek medical advice.

Stage two: Where do I seek medical advice?

A question to consider is; where do you start seeking out your medical advice? Most of the time people will either start with their Primary Care Provider (PCP) or if it is more urgent the Urgent Care or the Emergency Room. Sometimes they are able to solve the problem, but usually, if you have a chronic illness they will bring in more specialized doctors into the conversation, typically doctors that deal with the specific part of the body that you are having concerns about. There are many different forms of health care. Depending on what you believe, insurance, or several other reasons, you have the right to seek out certain health care provider that you prefer. This stage is about seeking proper health care advice for what is going on with you, to help you get the best care possible.

Note: Legally only a licensed (and depending on the chronic illness only a specific) doctor can technically diagnose you. You may not feel comfortable with a licensed doctor and seek other forms of help. Seeking medical advice from anyone outside of a licensed doctor leads to suggestions, with potentially their own diagnosis. That diagnosis may be classified similarly to medical terms, but they are not allowed to use those exact terms or potentially treat you within those parameters. Even if your issues aren’t diagnosed doesn’t mean you don’t have problems, it just means it will be treated differently. This is great to note if disability benefits through social security will have a role within your health care. Look at the state you live within to get exact requirements, but often they require “official diagnosis.”

Stage three: How do I know for sure what is going on with me?

During this stage, doctors will have created a few potential options of what could be occurring with you and then they create a list of tests, procedures or even medications to figuring out exactly what is going on with us.

Any form of chronic illness is a large label to place on anyone’s medical chart, so this stage helps prove as much as possible that something is happening to you, not only what specifically is happening, but how it is affecting and where it is affecting. This is a stage of creating evidence of an official diagnosis.

If they are not able to rule out different hypotheses or they can’t find anything they may request more tests, procedures, or other forms of trials to continue the search of figuring out what is going on with you. Depending on what is going on with your body, this process can last a few weeks to several years. This is because chronic illness can appear differently on anyone.

Stage four: What is going on with me? 

Finding a diagnosis can be overwhelming and a relief. We know what is now going on, but now we know that something is going on and we have to try to figure out the next steps. During this stage, a diagnosis will be presented to you. Sometimes doctors will tell you over the phone or they may set up an appointment with you. It allows for you to understand what is going on with you and if there may or may not be something else going on along with it.

Stage five: What does my treatment plan look like?

Once diagnosed with any health issue, your doctor should present a treatment plan. The treatment plan could involve a wealth of treatment types including; medication, physical therapy, or even surgery. This is a stage that can help try to resolve, lessen the symptoms occurring, or help you go into remission. It is a stage that takes a lot of understanding of how your personal body will react to each potential treatment attempt. Treatment plans are an ever-changing process. This stage you may make you feel stuck or that it requires a lot more time than you would like because along with your doctors you are finding the best formula as well.

Stage six: How do I manage my health issue to the best of my abilities from here on out?

This stage of the process is an ongoing stage for the rest of your life. With chronic illness, you are seeking out what works and doesn’t as our bodies are ever-shifting. Although we may find a formula that works we will be constantly changing, growing older, experiencing new themes in life that will shift how our bodies respond. This means we have to learn how to be the best advocates for ourselves to make sure that we are equipped with knowing when things seem off and need adjusting.


Know that it is actually normal to not go down a straightforward path. When your path seems to go in several different directions know that it is ok and more likely expected. During certain parts of our path, the stages may seem to blend, testing new theories, pushing new limits, finding new issues and continuing to face the next steps within our life. It is about managing personal health issues as our bodies themselves constantly change and also knowing the right steps as we step away from our doctors a little bit more and more to manage this on our own more easily, along with knowing when to bring your doctors back in.

Nuanced Living is founded on being a resource for being the best advocate for yourself within your healthcare and life.

What is my personal experience on my path?

I have always done a western medicine approach for a multitude of reasons; partly because my anatomy is vastly different than most and they have already mapped my anatomy so it makes it easy when I see doctors, there is the idea of insurance, along with the type of chronic illnesses I have it allows for more options to be on the table. I have experienced different forms of treatment through other branches of medicine outside of western medicine, but for my foundation, western medicine has been the most formal component of my formula.

Why are our journeys with chronic illness so different?

No one with chronic illness asked to have a chronic illness, but yet it affects our lives in every single aspect, ultimately reshaping them. It doesn’t define us but makes us carry its weight. It is something that can come from any number of sources, an injury to even genetic or maybe both. There is a range of sources that can start your chronic illness, which instantly affects us differently, but even within our subcategories of chronic illness it truly looks different amongst each of us.

Some doctors might refer you to either as “typical” or “atypical,” which are terms to describe their own perspective of what is occurring with you. This basically determines the start of your journey. To doctors, they will perceive the way you carry your illness as something that they believe can be treated within a certain system that seems to work for “most” people or if they will start a different series from the beginning that is not typical. In the end, no matter if you are “typical” or “atypical,” you will have to have a unique treatment plan tied to you. The terms simply just help them know where to start your treatment options.

Our bodies are so different from one another. We are coming to the table all differently based on; how we treat our bodies (do we exercise, do we smoke, etc), what we have experienced within our life (have you had a traumatic experience, do you work outside or inside, etc), in general our makeup as humans (is our anatomy the “typical” human form), and how we wear our bodies after the fact of symptoms (do we push ourselves physically, do you continue certain habits, etc). We are all very different especially when you add all those factors together that make us as a human being. Unfortunately, since our bodies are each a unique equation the way of chronic illness looks on us will be very different. We may or may not carry similarities within our chronic illness categories, but fundamentally we are all so different. Our bodies all need to have a different formula to make the new normal ok.

Chronic illness is a powerful term that shapes this blog, but yet it doesn’t come in one form or look the same to anyone. Every single person that encounters chronic illness has their own map of how chronic illness affects their lives and senses. Some even have multiple chronic illnesses that somehow create a perfect storm in their bodies, which still pushes them throughout the day to find the new normal.

Nuanced Living is about exploring all aspects of life since chronic illness has such an effect on it.


Why is the journey with chronic illness so lonely?

Typically when we each of us start on this path, we often don’t know the outcome or what is even wrong with us. We aren’t really sure which other individuals have the same things to set ourselves amongst them. Once we are diagnosed we look for others with the same chronic illness. We seek these people and often crave them because we want to know that there is success within the journey that we are now stepping onto. We soon realize once we are within those categorized everyone is on a different part of the path and everyone has had very different journeys along the path.

So many people have gone through this path before, but it can be so lonely. As a result of our bodies being so uniquely different, it requires us to understand that we are on a path to get the best healthcare for our body and we need to make the best choices for our path, despite others. It is important to understand this is our process rather than get caught up in someone else’s process and not entirely be able to fix us. Simply put, what may work for one person will not always work for you.

Surrounding ourselves with support is so important, and so is knowing that this body is our own and we ultimately need to make the best choices for ourselves along this path, even if at times it does feel lonely.


Conclusion: What does the path with chronic illness look like?

To understand the basis of our journey comes in the form of general stages but also knowing that we all go through this journey very differently. Even though there are so many differences within each of our journeys we are still able to create a foundation for ourselves and constantly grow within our new normal so our path continues to be the best within its own elements, no matter how hard it may get.


My question for you!

What stage(s) do you feel that you are currently in?


T r u l y , L i n d y



photo source: @LindyJacoby