Fixing the Uncertainty of Timelines

 

Our bodies have shifted, making our lives come to a stand still and the things that used to be reachable are out of sight entirely. We see the world around us and the cultural norms of what an idealistic life should be in every aspect pass us as if it has forgotten us. We may or may not have chosen certain routes, but yet it still seems upsetting to feel that we don’t have the option of even saying yes or no. The option of having a say in our timeline, seems laughable in away. Chronic illness can seem to take control of a lot of our situations, including our overall timeline and how our life plays out. Below are ways to shift our timelines to be what we desire within our new world.

 

As individuals in this life, we look to those that are similar age or with similar ambitions to figure out where we should be at, what our goals for the next few years should be, if we have the best of what could be. As an individual with chronic illness, we often feel mentally that we want to be a part of those goals and that life, but realistically our bodies hold a different more pressing perspective of life. No matter what your chronic illness is, you find yourself standing still even if for a moment as people seem to gather their lives “seamlessly.” No matter the stage in your life or what it looks like, whether you have the perfect job or aren’t working, if you are married or not, if you are in your twenties or in your sixties, it can be jolting to your reality, but it doesn’t have to affect every aspect of the realities of your timeline.

 

We go through different stages of figuring out what is happening to us, the realities of what is about to happen, and what our life looks like. As time goes on the impression of these things seem to get greater and greater. We see the details of the differences between us and the world and what our world should have looked like. This is where we have the power to take control, to grab our timeline and make it something unique. It may not look like the worlds, but we have the ability to figure out how to stand up for it in such a strong way to make our new reality beautiful and our time lines our own that we are proud of.

 

How to create our best timeline?

Patience:

We have different stages of grieving within our body so make sure to set the limits of what you can’t do based on your personal understanding of self. At the end of the day you are the only one to truly know what your limitations are. Having patience for the journey and with yourself is key. Understanding that our timelines will shift and change, and like all others we truly have no clue what the world will hold. There will be several stages and processes within this life, along with the face that you yourself will change, so making sure you are patient and setting realistic timelines that are flexible will help.

 

Standing in Confidence:

There is a difference between standing within life and being grounded in life. We all have a perception of ourselves and where we should be, but what is it that we are really chasing? Figuring out what you stand for, who you are, what your life actually looks like, and what you feel you have power over to create your timeline. Having goals that we set for our lives and not discrediting anything that we desire creates timelines. Write down the things that you want and yes they may not come in the way or the time you thought, but never believe you are not worth having something. Chronic illness is not a power that we may have asked for and it has its limits, but it grounds us in being stronger in the individuals that we want to be, rather then the ones that are perceived or that we feel we should be.

 

Our Approach:

Social media, realities of life, whatever it may be, warps our view of what life should be. It sets standards upon us that usually aren’t realistic when having chronic illness. When figuring out how to look at these outlets, consider the simple idea of encouraging someone else who is doing something incredible within their life, because their successes in no way take away from you or your successes. Each of our lives is very different from one another and it is important to uplift people and figure out how we can be uplifted at the same time by others to have the best life within our own world.

 

It May Happen:

Don’t ever have an individual tell you that you need to be ok with something you aren’t ok with. Others may have an expectation for you, but don’t let them. Each individual on this earth has gone through very different experiences on so many levels, so create a perspective of your timeline that fit you. Others are going to have perceptions and expectations based on their own personal experiences. Let them know how you feel, and let them know how they can be a part of your timeline without dictating it.

 

Having Faith:

Faith is a very personal experience and there are so many interpretations of what it means. Sometimes having faith within our own strength is what may be needed, while other times it is finding strength in a higher power. A powerful tool many with chronic illness have used is allowing for the idea that we have no control over our timelines and what is happening to us, giving that upset and worry to something else to watch over. This is a decision that is based on your faith and your interpretation of faith. It isn’t always the only solution, but rather a piece to help create the best timeline. Also having faith in yourself is important because you can get through whatever is thrown your way!

 

 

Questions:

What was the biggest shift within your timeline and how did you become ok with it not being on your time lines?

 

T r u l y ,   L i n d y

FREE 2018 Calendar!

 

2018 is almost here and Nuanced Living is so excited to give a FREE calendar download! We still have an exciting bit of 2017 to go through till we start 2018 officially, but it is never too early to prep and get ready for the new year! Nuanced Living is about creating a beautiful life despite chronic illness. This means we get to have the ability to indulge in the most beautiful aspects of this life, even when we are given so many daily hurdles. The 2018 Calendar doesn’t have any words of encouragement or anything about chronic illness, it is simply a way I can personally give you a bouquet of flowers each month to enjoy as you feel your calendar with doctor appointments and days of rest. It is about creating your years’ landscape, with a little bit of pretty along the way.

 

 

The entire calendar includes thirteen pages; a cover page and a page for each month of the year 2018. Each month of the calendar includes the entire month and a floral bouquet drawn by me (Lindy Jacoby). It is completely FREE!!!! To get yours all you have to do is click on the link for the month and print. It is entirely free, easy to accesses, and you can not only just have it for yourself, but share it with all those you love! Share this link with others or print to give as gifts to friends and family!

 

Click and Print!

2017

December 17

2018

Front Page 

January | February | March | April 

May | June | July | August | September

October | November | December

 

 

Enjoy!

 

T r u l y ,   L i n d y

 

 

Image source : @NuancedLiving

Redefining Limitations with Chronic Illness

 

Limitations of life are typically defined by fear or moral base, our physical body doesn’t always come into play until we are hit with something like chronic illness. The presence of if we want to do something or if we should do something, based on illness. It now sets our limits. Our personal definition of limits is very different. We define our personal limits based on how we live life. As chronic illness takes over our physical capabilities, slowly or quickly, we discover limitations of life are now dictated more by our body. Some of us don’t really understand limitations of life until we have chronic illness. As chronic illness shifts within our life, our definition of limitations shifts with it. Some limitations can be constant, but some limitations can be temporary. We learn to redefine it because if we don’t it consumes us with a stress of incapability.

 

 

Our body or cavity becomes more defined. We know what is happening, we still are the same person mentally as we were before, but our awareness of our body becomes more apparent, especially when we try to push our boundary limits. Our personal limits can be going to work, maintaining your job, maintaining friendships, going out in certain types of weather, consuming different foods, going to different places, being able to do the dishes and so many other examples. It can be any gesture of life. When we realize a limitation, not by choice, but by body it can be the worst feeling. We face them head on at the moment, which especially depending on our activity this can be extremely challenging. When we realize our limitations are more recognizable then we desire, that is when we can get a choice to take care of ourselves, even when it is overwhelming and frustrating to figure out a rhythm. When we are able to recognize the challenging moments within our life, we are able to recognize us and figure out a plan to move forward with everything. Below are a few ways to help you face limitations and help redefine them to fit a life you still desire.

 

Personal Experience: One of my hardest limits I found with chronic illness are the ones that affect the day-to-day aspects. I so enjoy cooking and with all my nerve pain throughout my body, it had affected by fatigue in my arms, so my arms started having tremors, which meant I couldn’t hold a cup without two hands or hold a utensil. So I had to give up something that not only I loved, but I had to ask someone to help me with the basics needs of living. It was extremely frustrating and overwhelming, because not only did I know it was happening, it was so visible to everyone around me. It created definite limits to my life and it required me to ask someone for help. It was a stretch of my patients and taught me a lot within the process of how to maintain my emotions and not get frustrated by what is happening with my body. Thankfully this limitation only lasted about a year, I found treatment for the tremor symptom alone. It was one of my successes within this health journey. Although I may have found a treatment to cover up the symptoms, if I don’t do the treatment it comes back right away, along with when I have been in a lot more pain my tremors come back. So it isn’t an everyday symptom, but it still occurs. I am faced with limitations every day from symptoms that have and can’t be treated. Almost every day I am reminded or discover a new limit, but my desire is to live a life I love, despite the limitations.

 

Ways to help redefine the definition of limitations to your personal life:

 

The “can do” and “sometimes can do” list.

This is a concept that has got me through almost all of my limitations. Create a list of things that you love that you know you can for sure do and then instead of creating a list of things you can’t do, create a list of things sometimes you can do. This is a list of everything that isn’t on your “can do” list. Maybe it is simply a mental list that you make to yourself, maybe it is a list you share with others especially the ones you live with or your caregiver. No matter where you have it or how you hold it, it allows for you to not get rid of all the things you feel you can’t do. The “sometimes can do” is a list intending to say I may not be able to do it now, or in certain moments, I may not know when I can do it if ever, or I can’t complete this task during symptom flares. It gives yourself permission to not use the word “can’t,” along with allowing you to give yourself permission to also say that your symptoms are not in a good place to complete a task now, but you could get to it later.

 

Finding a moment of peace within the overwhelming realization.

When finding ourselves in an overwhelming amount of upset and realization about our limitations, maybe even a new limitation, pause within that moment and figure out a way to ground yourself to take a minute to figure out what your limits are extracting the emotion from the situation, as much as possible. Then step forward and try again, if you keep finding yourself in that place, don’t give up hope just know that this moment is not the moment to evaluation your limits. This moment doesn’t define your limits. When you find yourself in this situation make sure to step back and figure out how were your symptoms when you stepped into this situation, try again at a point when your symptoms are better to see if you can do it and then maybe put that task on the “sometimes can do” list.

 

Learning a new language for yourself.

When we readjust our thinking about what limits mean to us, we often discover that our personal boundaries have now shifted. We let the ones that we know we can rely on in, we push the people we can’t deal with their stress away, and we figure out how we can care for others and reshape our relationships. With this we learn to ask for help, we learn to say no in a stronger way (since our health that relies on us to not deal with unnecessary stress), we put ourselves first saying we have to take care of us first, we learn a whole new vocabulary. You will define and redefine this as you learn what your limitations are.

 

Understanding that limits, like our health are constantly changing.

As your health shifts and your chronic illness develops into one thing or the next, we learn to redefine what our limitations are and what it means to have limitations. We will constantly be changing our vocabulary of what our body can and can’t do. Patients can be one of the hardest things to do, but it can also be the most helpful tool, to understanding what is going on within your life.

 

 

You may find yourself in a moment that you’ve done a million times prior, that can’t seem to stick in that moment, let go and allow yourself to find yourself doing one of the above to figuring out if you are redefining your limits again.

 

Questions:

What is your best life tactic that you find helps when discovering a new limit?

 

 

T r u l y ,   L i n d y